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NOº 3618

30 Things I Loved In April 2012

Apr 29, 2012
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1. Appalachia (so patient). “As soon as we’re out, we’re kickin’ our way back in.”
2. Kickin’ our way back in.
3. The Royal We.
4. I-81.
5. Bryce Harper’s stirrups.
6. De-camping.
7. Pizza Deliverance. Particularly “Box of Spiders” and “One of These Days.”
8. Poems.
9. Kiki Petrosino’s Fort Red Border. Particularly the Valentines section.
10. Sun.
11. Orbits and inner circles. Also no-muss nuptials and the symbiotic partnerships they seal. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and health. The day-to-day subtle magic of that.
12. Time travel. (“As soon as we’re out, we’re kickin’ our way back in.”)
13. A new Michael Ondaatje book. To look forward to.
14. Modern medicine.
15. A breakfast burrito. At Gillies. Mmm.
16. The New River Valley.
17. The Shenandoah Valley.
18. Mountains.
19. Road noise.
20. My new shoes. They are secretly orthotic. Not that this is a secret I am keeping from others. (Obviously.) That this is a secret they — the shoes, that is — kept from me. For a time. But then I had occasion to don my red Chucks and soon my arches sang the secret of their new rivals like (achy) canaries. Or something.
21. The Dorothy Jemison Day Theater. At the Alabama School of Fine Arts. All that and a bag of chips.
22. The Alabama School of Fine Arts. Working there. All that and a bag of chips.
23. Lebanese Taverna. Particularly the Fatteh Bel Djaje. Mmm.
24. Fresh Off the Bun. Particularly the Vietnamese Tacos. Mmm.
25. Cheaper money. Vis-à-vis my mortgage.
26. Which is to say: Fannie Mae!
27. Sisters.
28. Brothers-in-law.
29. Dolphins. Particularly the fact that they evolved from land mammals. (Which is crazy.) Thus more or less proving that the little space alien men who come to take us in our sleep are really just us from another dimension, after we’ve evolved to be way uglier and punier but also way smarter and (somehow) truly capable of withstanding the rigors of lightspeed. (Not that dolphins are ugly. Quite the opposite. Plus they’ve evolved so that they can pick up sonar with their — wait for it — teeth. Not even lying. That’s totally true.) Or, I mean who knows? Maybe lightspeed is just this quaint anachronistic superstition wherein we labor under the misconception that we have to go really fast to get where we’re going in the fourth dimension. But maybe, you know…maybe it’s not like that at all.
30. Which is to say: what all we don’t know.

NOº 3595

FYI/411: [PDX + YouTube] x Poem = Not-So-Shameless Plug!

Apr 09, 2012
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This is the digital age. Which means it’s that much easier for a dilettante such as myself to marry sound — some ambient, some, uh, the opposite of ambient (?) — with some moving pictures, voice-over it all like an ersatz Werner Herzog, and oila!, we got us a slapdash, self-important tone poem a la YouTube.

But see, I been writing the obscure/self-important tone poems — sans all the technological bells + whistles — for years now. So. Yes. This aint nothing new. Not one bit. Just a part of my make-up (my Constitution, you might say)…

Plus! in this you get to meet “Kurt,” the busker I met in Portland outside of Deschutes Brewery in the Pearl District. (Obsidian Stout!) Kurt’s got a story to tell. Lots of them. This one’s about a little girl. And a “martini umbrella.” Really mostly it’s about what we give away and what it gets us in return.

So yeah. Seems to me that’s a human thing, telling stories. If our little cameras and other such technological gizmos/contraptions make us more inclined to spin such yarns (ours, other people’s), well, then, that’s a good thing. Even (or maybe especially) if they’re a little slapdash. Doesn’t necessarily bring us closer to god or some semi-secular version of transcendence, nor does it bring us much in the way of peace at home, abroad, or even inside our minds. But! maybe it does bring us closer to our truest selves. And to each other. Again: that’s all (or mostly, anyway) good.

Oh, and FYI/411, here’s the text of the poem that goes with all that aforementioned tone. It’s called “We the People” and it is — surprise, surprise! — a part of the collection I’ve got coming out in a few weeks… Continue reading →

NOº 3577

FYI/411: The Inimitable Mr Zuckerberg Endorses My New Poem Book and Provides It with a Bully Pulpit!!

Apr 08, 2012
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Which is to say: we’ve (Royal We!) gone and set us (ibid!) up one of these Facebook pages for a book.

But! not just any book: it’s my (our?!) first-ever full-length collection of poems, In Order to Form a More Perfect Union.

Here’s the link to the aforementioned fabulous Facebook page. There you’ll find news and reviews, reading dates, and other fun factoids related to its meteoric rise in the literary firmament. Or something.

Plus! it will interact with you. It will say stuff like, “Hi, Bob! That’s a great point. Hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for your interest!” (Or it might say some such. Depending on whether your name is Bob and if you make a great point or not.) And that’s crazy! Because it’s a book! Zuckerberg, man. He’s a genius. Sentient books! Sentient books with a Social Media platform! What will he think of next?!

Also:

Here’s a fancy-pants unattributed promotional blurb about it:

E Pluribus Unum. Out of many, one. Easier said than done, according to TJ Beitelman’s new poetry collection, In Order to Form a More Perfect Union. In this intricately layered and obliquely linked sequence of aubades, elegies, curses, and fractured mythic narratives, Beitelman susses out the complicated calculus of forming a viable whole from an uncertain sum of roughly assorted parts. Paying homage to a representative cast of true Americans — Bob Dylan, William Carlos Williams, Emily Dickinson, and none other than the timelessly tragic trio of John Hinckley, Jodie Foster, and Ronald Reagan — this is a book concerned with discerning the truest truths we hold to be self-evident, whether forging a new nation, facing a lover for the very last time, or attempting — without any real reason — to believe in the better version of ourselves.

You can click here to read some other promotional blurbs, ones that are attributed to people who are much better poets than me.

And (lastly, not leastly) you can click here to pre-order it. Word on the street is that it’s on schedule to be released later this month!

NOº 3535

30 Things I Loved In/About March 2012

Apr 01, 2012
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1. My Anonymous Sister. That’s all I have to say about that.
2. Aimless wandering. 5,500+ miles worth. At least. And that’s not even counting the extensive walking parts, in which sometimes I got soaked, pelted, sunburned, etc, etc, and which were (as always) ponderous and fortifying.
3. Old friends. Specifically: cherishing their hospitality (as always) but also playing host to them. Which is new. For me, I mean.
4. Which is to say: having a representative sampling of said friends (admittedly: some older than others) over, to my actual house (which I actually really love, not that it’s much to look at or anything, but it’s mine and it’s comfortable…) and plying them with actual beer and actual homemade chili. Also actual late-night fancy-pants cheese toast (Gruyere! Monterrey Jack! Olive oil! Sea salt! Big Sky Bread!) plus actual (“actual”) wild-ride itineraries.
5. New friends. Actual ones.
6. The Playground.
7. Mac-n-cheese.
8. Havi.
9. “Coming home.”
10. Portland, Oregon. (Duh.) All five quadrants of it. (Five quadrants? Yes. “Rationality will not save us.” — R. McNamara)
11. Mt. Tabor Park.
12. Mt. Hood. Turns out, it really does exist. Or anyway: on a clear day from Mt. Tabor Park, you can see what, for all I know, could simply be a very impressive, snow-capped hologram off in the distance.
13. Deschutes Obsidian Stout.
14. Hail + Rain + Snow + Sun. In a fairly transcendent fifteen-minute window of time.
15. Powell’s City of Books. It’s a city. Of books. (Duh.) Specifically: I like the poetry section — (Also: duh.) — which is like its own fifth quadrant. Or better yet: sixth. The Sixth Quadrant! An embarrassment of riches, quadrant-wise. Also poetrywise. Namely (among many others)…
16. Matthew Dickman. Specifically: All-American Poem.
17. Michael Dickman. Specifically: The End of the West.
18. The West. (I sure hope it’s not ended/ending. I’ve just started with it.) Specifically: Cascadia.
19. Pine State Biscuits. Honestly, I’d resisted. Biscuits in Portland? I mean. I live in Biscuit Land. How can they make good biscuits in Portland?! Um. Well. Yes. Turns out they can. Decadently so.
20. Pok Pok PDX.
21. Plan B. “…TJ Beitelman is a teacher and writer who lives just outside Birmingham, Alabama.”
22. Deluxe Plan B [PDF]. “…TJ Beitelman writes and teaches in the Magic City and summers in Cascadia.”
23. Plan A. “…An offer I can’t refuse…”
24. Deluxe Plan A [PDF]. “…Pretty much the same as Plan A, just in grander fashion…”
25. Drawing a crayon picture. Of the world. In one of my awesome new…
26. Notebooks.
27. Collage.
28. Stranger-related challenges.
29. Having car insurance. Specifically: having car insurance when somebody rear-ends me on the interstate and then drives off. But mostly just not dying when somebody rear-ends me on the interstate and then drives off. Which is to say…
30. Perspective. Which is to say: life is what happens when you’re making other plans. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Etc. Etc. Etc.

NOº 3531

FYI/411: Welcome Our Newest ‘Writings’ Page!

Mar 15, 2012
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 Self-Portrait(s) in a Convex Mirror
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Self-Portrait(s)!

Which is to say:

“So. One time I asked everybody I ever knew to tell me stuff about themselves. These brave 17 souls replied. And I love them for it. I contain them for the rest of my life, etc.”

NOº 3479

Soundtrack of My Mind: [03.06.12]

Mar 07, 2012
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 Soundtrack of My Mind
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Query:

So is a muse where some preternaturally beautiful lady sings a preternaturally beautiful song — and makes a video of it with the help of some fella called “Myles” — and it makes your eyes go like Mowgli in The Jungle Book when that crazy snake (Kaa?) works its magic on him and his eyes go all googly? Oh. Okay. Just checking. (Thank god I’m not Damien Rice. Because then I’d be Damien Rice and I’d have to watch this. [And this.] Jay-sis.)

NOº 3451

30 Things I Loved In/About February 2012

Mar 03, 2012
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 30 Things I Love Right Now
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1. Total number of cashiers who, on separate occasions, in different stores, offered unbidden compliments on my eye wear: 3.
2. Pig Earth. By John Berger.
3. The Entire Predicament. By Lucy Corin.
4. REM.
5. Wandering. Around the perimeter of the site for the new minor league ballpark in downtown Birmingham, imagining the sight lines. The sounds and smells and tastes, too. (My kingdom for a hotdog, a bag of popcorn, an unclaimed summer evening.) If you build it, they will come. Etc. (Anyway: I know for sure I’ll be there.)
6. Frank Chimero.
7. This essay. “How to Do What You Love.” By Paul Graham (via: the aforementioned…
8. …Mr Chimero’s blog).
9. Sweet potatoes. Purple ones.
10. Chorizo.
11. Old Irishmen. Playing old Irish music. In my city. Which is not really old or Irish at all. Which is to say: The Chieftains @ Alys Stephens Center in Birmingham, Alabama, U.S.A.
12. Airplane reservations. To…
13. …an unnamed city. In the Pacific Northwest. (A city to be named later? Hint: rain, roses, tattoos.)
14. Trips. Round ones.
15. My job. Which is to say: doing what I love.
16. Inviting friends over. To my boxy exurban hermitage.
17. My little dog. Who seems so impervious to so many things: Imminent twisters. Rogue groundhogs. Age. Etc.
18. When something that seems very mysterious and complicated is actually quite explicable and simple. Which is to say…
19. …PDFs. Namely putting them on a blog. Which allows for…
20. …self-published manifestos. Freely disseminated. (Coming soon to a blog near you.)
21. Checking in. With my Anonymous Sister. Daily. As a habit.
22. Making the bed. Daily. As a habit.
23. Spreadsheets. Which has nothing to do with making beds but sounds like it does.
24. Cycles. Not the things you ride; the underlying governing process(es) of all things great and small. (I mean. I guess there’s riding involved sometimes but it’s more riding out than riding on.)
25. This question: Is there another possible explanation?
26. This answer: Yes.
27. Rain.
28. Roses.
29. Tattoos.
30. A home. To come home to.

NOº 3410

FYI/411: The Grand Planyon

Feb 05, 2012
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 FYI/411, Misfit Pilgrimages
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“The best laid schemes of mice and men / often go askew.” — Robert Burns

PREAMBLE

So. Here we are. Twenty-twelve, Year of Our Lord. (Whatever that means.) The Mayans thought they had it figured when the world was gonna come crashing to a halt. Twenty-twelve. Except for they didn’t have much truck with this Year of Our Lord business. The Nazarene never made it to the Americas, leastways nobody knew about it until 1830, when Joseph Smith let that particular cat out of the bag. Anyways…

Point being, even if the Mayans are wrong, time’s not slowing down and I got places to go, people to see. Things to do. Namely:

#1. Take a cross country road trip.
#2. See the Grand Canyon.
#3. Make a movie. A real one. (Whatever that means.)

There’s other things on the list. But that’s #1 – #3. And that particular triad, I gather, would be better with company. Especially if one got the wild hair that he wanted to do all three at once. Hence I approached three of my friends to see if they’d step out on this limb with me. A mega Misfit Pilgrimage. I thought it would be more, like, official or something if I wrote something up. A proposal of sorts, that they might ponder and, hell, maybe even sign or something. 3,748 words later, what was just a vague notion became a full-fledged Grandiose Scheme. Here’s some of what I wrote… Continue reading →

NOº 3406

30 Things I Love So Far re: [Twenty-Twelve]

Feb 05, 2012
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1. Mayans!
2. Blog sabbaticals!
3. Building a bat cave…
4. …with gadgets!
5. …1000 lbs. of flour!
6. …and rice!
7. …300 lbs. of honey!
8. …plenty of water, cold and clean!
9. Which is to say: all of that’s related. At first I thought we’d all get zapped and/or swallowed up by lava when the clock struck midnight on January 1. Not so. Turns out, the Mayans gave us all but ten days at the end of this year to get our affairs in order before it all goes kablooey. Nice of them.  So now that we’ve made it through the whole of January, I figure it’s relatively safe to peek my head out (virtually/digitally, that is).
10. But I also figure I better get going on that bucket list.
11. Hence: I’m headed to the Grand Canyon! (Mega Misfit Pilgrimage!)
12. Also: I’m gonna document it. Sounds. Images. Words.
13. Also: I will have friends, Romans, countrymen with me. Yes…
14. …I have friends!
15. Road trips.
16. Road trips across America.
17. So yes: America.
18. Also: America!
19. Horses! with no name!
20. Being out of the rain!
21. No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July.
22. Beginners by Mike Mills.
23. It Chooses You by Miranda July.
24. Serendipity, synthesis, and symbiosis, especially as they relate to seemingly disparate creative projects. It does all fit together. You just don’t know how yet.
25. No but seriously: blog sabbaticals.
26. Which is to say: figuring out (finally) what this blog is.
27. Which is to say: I love this blog because it’s a creative incubator for me. A creative commonplace. I share it because (A) it’s often a contract with myself: if I say I’m going to do something on my blog, “publicly,” well, then I have to do it, and (B) maybe somebody else might be inspired to make such a creative contract with him/herself. Win-win.
28. Which is to say: the blog serves me. Unless it doesn’t. Then I take a sabbatical until it does again. Easy enough.
29. Which is to say: “In this there is no measuring with time, a year doesn’t matter, and ten years are nothing. Being an artist means: not numbering and counting [Irony!], but ripening like a tree, which doesn’t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!” — Rainier Maria Rilke.
30. The relatively calm awareness that “figuring things out” and “finally” are way squishier terms than I tend to admit. Far more are they akin to heartfelt wishes than they are to unassailable verdicts.

NOº 3404

Soundtrack of My Mind: [12.26.11]

Dec 26, 2011
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And this bird you cannot change.

Postscript

My Anonymous Sister says she doesn’t like “Freebird.” Which is maybe why she’s anonymous. (Alas: no word as to why I’m anonymous, as far as that goes. Hmm.)